SCREEN: White letters on black background. "FEBRUARY 14, 1992" SETTING: University Theatre Arts Department lobby, DSL. Jeremy's desk, complete with chair and telephone, St. Valentine's Day decoration and another chair for visitors are necessary. AT RISE: JEREMY sits behind his desk, talking on the telephone as NEIL McQUILLAN enters. He is in his thirties, bearded, stocky but not overweight, and well groomed.
JEREMY His line's busy; can I take a message? Okay. Thank you. (To Neil:) Can I help you?
NEIL Is Luke Aaronberg in?
JEREMY He's in a meeting, but it should be over soon. Have a seat. (Neil sits. David enters.) Oh, David. You got three calls. One from your ex-wife. She and Danielle are getting married. She thought you should know. You don't have to call back.
DAVID I won't. I never really liked her that much.
NEIL Then why'd you marry her? (David turns to Neil.) I'm sorry for prying. Neil McQuillan. I'm a new Associate Professor with the English Department.
DAVID David Foraker. You're on the wrong floor.
NEIL No, I'm here to see Luke Aaronberg. I'm doing a thesis in American Theatre. Why didn't things work out with your wife?
DAVID I beg your pardon, but my private life is exactly that. However, if you're really curious, I chronicled it in my play Flotsam & Jetsam, which is available in the library.
NEIL The newlyweds who confess they're both gay virgins? I saw that. I try to catch as much amateur theatre as I can. Not that it was
DAVID Don't worry. You won't catch that play anywhere else. It was more of a catharsis than an actual drama.
NEIL I thought it was very John Guare in a Sam Shepard/Harvey Fierstein kind of way.
DAVID Thank you. But honestly, I don't think such a combination is genetically possible. If you're Luke's appointment, you'd better catch him before he goes to lunch. I know it's three, but he hates to eat before Guiding Light.
NEIL Okay. Thanks. Nice meeting you. (Exits.)
JEREMY So, what do you think?
DAVID About what? (Jeremy indicates Neil.) Oh, please.
JEREMY What? He likes your work. He's interested in theatre. He's cute in a strange kind of way.
DAVID He's not my type. Leave me alone. I'm a grieving widow on Valentine's Day. I've eaten an entire thing of fig newtons and a Cornish game hen all by myself. After my next class, I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off, so I can go home, watch Casablanca and cry. (The phone rings.) Saved. Call me tonight.
JEREMY (waves to David as he answers the phone.) Theatre Arts. Jeremy speaking. (END OF SCENE)